It was my 2nd blog, after briefly doing an environmental blog on a stinky Yahoo 360 platform that nobody could see unless they joined, and I started it within a day or two of arriving in Israel. There were so many new & crazy experiences being thrown at me, I’m so glad I had the dedication to chronicle them here.
G-Fish helped me tell my stories to all my family & friends back home. And now, I’m glad it will live in cyberspace indefinitely for those future queens googling “gay” AND “israel” AND “blog” etc. to find out what life might be like for them here, because they are considering making Aliyah. Seriously, it is very gratifying to get random comments from gay Jews on this blog – men & women I don’t know, but who are searching for specialized information about gay life in Israel. It’s a huge step what I did (making Aliyah), and I love that I’ve left a trail for men & women excited about taking the same step, and that I continue to help them through my stories’ echoes.
I also had to get a farewell post up, so that the first thing people see wouldn’t be Helen Thomas’ broom hilda mug on my homepage for all eternity. I was rightly incensed shen she made her anti-Semitic comments last spring, and I’m glad I posted my reaction to them. But, G-Fish was never an issues-oriented blog. It was always just about my new life, adjusting as an Oleh Chadash in Israel. Helen was not respresentative of what G-Fish was all about, at all. Deleting her post was one option, making a farewell post was another.
There are so many stories to tell from my experiences between last May and now – everything from the huge steps I’m taking professionally here, to continued good times w/ friends here to Petey stories and random small stuff. But, frankly – who has time for all that? So, I’m just gonna post some pics & vids instead.
If you’re LGBT and considering making Aliyah to Israel, just know that my experience so far has been great. I’ve been here a year and a half and am succeeding in starting my own business, have moved into my own great apartment in Tel Aviv, and have had my cute dog Petey for almost a year now. Still no boyfriend (or really, very much dating or sex, even) – but if you think you could change that, please leave your information in the comments, lol. Love ya! -S
Newton (dog), Yossi, Racheli, Nir, Hilla, Angel (dog) - in our dogpark, Spiegel Park
Anna, Taco & Me (don't ask)
This is what my new website is going to look like ! (scottpiro.com)
Pete, after I left his harness on overnight, and he chewed through it (2nd time this happened).
This is the sunset I watch every day in the dog park. Can you believe this is my backyard?
Here is the last year and a half (since I made Aliyah) encapsulated in 3 pictures:
Here I am happy, enjoying my great life in New York & Philly...
Me at JFK doing something totally crazy, moving to Israel only six weeks after I visited for the first time...
Me, a year and a half later, enjoying my life in Tel Aviv.
Check out my website scottpiro.com, which I expect to have up before the end of the year. It will be mostly a professional site, showcasing my work in PR, social media strategy & implementation and copywriting. But I’ll also have a smaller personal section on there, too.
Shalom, Bitches !! !! !!
I don’t make a lot of phone calls home. Skype’s free, but inconsistent w/ quality, and having to be tethered to the PC really takes the spontaneity out it. Skype calls need to be planned, and if you or the other party doesn’t make the effort, they just don’t happen.
But I called my brother on Thursday because I needed something from him. A client of mine has a system that forwards calls from an extension on their Boston phone number to my cell phone in Israel. But it wasn’t working right, so I had asked the client to make an adjustment. He did, and this is what I needed my brother to help me test.
Anyway, I reached him, and he helped me, but he didn’t have much time to talk. He had moved into his new house the day before, and you know, there was *a lot* of stuff to do.
I felt very excited for him, but understood that he didn’t have a lot of time to talk. I wanted to keep him on longer and have him tell me *everything*, but I felt like I kind of didn’t have that right. We stay in touch, but neither one of works that hard at it. I should really only speak for myself.
After the call, I thought – should I have been angry? (Such an important day in your life, and you didn’t even call to let me know?) Well, no – because speaking for myself, there is more I could do to be better in touch.
Then, I got a little hard on myself: this was a monumental event in his life, and I almost missed it. I reached him on the tail end of it, almost by accident. I mean, I can’t live without seeing the series finale of LOST, but apparently I can live without talking to my brother, his wife or my niece for a month at a time.
Don’t hate on myself. I have control over how much I call. And if I want to feel I am more a part of my brother’s life, then I have to, you know, *be* more of a part of my brother’s life.
Filed under: Feelings, Hey!, Identity, Struggles | Tags: blockade, Flotilla, Sandra Bernhard
A lot can change in 24 hours. Sunday night I got to watch Rihanna perform in Jafo’s Bloomfield Stadium, and she was magnificent. The concert was part of a cool initiative called the Orange RockCorps. To score a ticket you had to do four hours of community service or know my friend Beth and get given a ticket for doing nothing. This was RiRi’s first time in Israel.
I had a stupendous time at the show. I almost didn’t make it! Beth told me RiRi was performing at Ramat Gan Stadium. I set out on my bike with plenty of time – dressed in “26-year-old drag.” My friend Ashley told me that the RockCorps tickets were only for kids ages 16-26. With bad lighting, sleep in your eyes and visual impairment, I can maybe appear 32-years-old; 26-y-o would be really pushing it (#understatement). But I wore a baseball cap and little O.P. corduroy shorts and gave myself a fresh, clean shave.
Google Maps on my BlackBerry got me there easily enough, and I realized the stadium (actually in Bnei Brak) was across from two skyscrapers where I had business meetings in the last few weeks. I was feeling that “more has been revealed” satisfying feeling that (unknowingly at the time) those meetings had helped familiarize me with this location to help me find the concert.
Except, major #Fail, b/c RiRi was not performing there at all. She was performing at Bloomfield Stadium in Yafo, which is basically the southern tip of Tel Aviv. Bnei Brak was like two towns over, north of Tel Aviv.
Fortunately, this whole country is the size of a peanut, and RiRi is Diva enough to never start the show on time, and I made it to the correct stadium about :10 minutes before she went on.
I passed for 26-years-old or, they just weren’t checking! I had a ticket to stand on the floor, which was fine b/c it was very close up. Even arriving as close to showtime as I did, I still was maybe 15 feet away from her when she came stage right. It was like I was babysitting or 15,000 teenagers, but it was fine.
Don’t you love it, when you remember to bring your camera and when you whip it out to take your first shot, you’re greeted with this message on the display: “CHANGE THE BATTERY PACK.” #Fail !!! Why doesn’t the camera have a gauge that shows you battery strength as you go along, but instead tells you nothing before – “Hey, doufus – I’m done. Change me.” #Fail !!! BlackBerry pics had to suffice, mainly of the video monitor, b/c cam was not high quality enough to get good shots of RiRi directly, close as I was.
Great show. Of course, I’m gonna find all the ways she was derivative of Madonna, but she really turned it out and rocked hard. It was really fun. Since I’m building my own business, I work *A LOT*, and it’s a real challenge to make myself get out for social activities. Seeing a big act like RiRi feels tangible to me, like I can point to it and feel – See, I do stuff.
Next day, late morning I see one of the new friends I’ve made from this crowd that’s really active on Twitter, Benji, tweet something like – “So sad, can’t stop watching the news.” Part of me thinks Uh-oh, what? , but I’m swamped as usual w/ work, and I don’t pay full attention. I can’t remember how long, but later that day the twitter chatter becomes loud enough that I realize something big has happened.
I’m trying to remember now what the first coverage I read was like – was it the US and global press accusing Israel of a “massacre of peace activists” or was it links from the people I follow on Twitter, who told a different story – that the IDF soldiers were “brutally ambushed by the terrorists at sea“?
The Ynet article really made me feel better – See, we’re not barbarians…we boarded the boat and *they* attacked *us* !! In an interesting twist, right afrter reading that article, the next tweet I see in Tweetdeck is from comedian/actress/author/personality/singer Sandra Bernhard – who I have adored ever since the mid 80’s, when she seemingly appeared on Late Night w/ David Letterman every few weeks. I remember thinking – Who *IS* this chick !?! I don’t know if Sandra was out then (I certainly wasn’t), but I was captivated by the way she clearly marched to her own drummer and seemed so much more authentic and original than the celebrities I was accustomed to seeing.
Anyway, so I’ve been a fan of hers for 25 years, and I read her tweet saying:
Not mean spiritied. Just a question – a *good* question. But in this environment – when, AGAIN it seems the world is unifiyingly holding Israel to an unfair security & self-defense double-standard…and yes, I was probably taking on some of these critical attacks on Israel personally…because Sandra is influential (and Jewish) and many people pay attention to what she has to say, I didn’t want her question to go unanswered or manipulated for another person’s purposes or change the opinion of someone still making up his/her mind up about what was still breaking news.
So, I answered her over Twitter:
And I included a hyperlink to the Ynet story I had read. Then, I continued working. I was still swamped, and flotilla or notilla, that hadn’t changed. When I checked Tweetdeck a little later, I saw that Sandra had answered me. While I had half-hoped she would, I certainly didn’t expect her to. Anyway, here is our conversation:
OK, so maybe it’s less of a conversation and really Sandra’s response to my tweet, and then my 3 replies to her, plus one re-tweet from my new friend @Jewlicious. (But if you remove the 140-character limitation, then – yeah, it’s her response, then mine, then me forwarding something.)
Anyway, I continued working, but of course that means checking both Facebook and Tweetdeck (and Atraf) every 5 seconds, and I came across a link to video posted by The Huffington Post, and it made Israel look just awful. A British Al-Jazeera reporter is giving a report from the deck of the raided flotilla boat. He mentions in his report that the flotilla was “carrying aid” when the “Israeli commandos descended upon it in International waters after surrounding it with ships from all sides” and mentions that on board the raided boat were “activists, parliamentarians, women, children and the elderly” and that “tens of people were injured, and there were still sounds of live fire despite white flag having been raised.”
I started feeling bad after watching this report. Not just – Oh, shit, this is *Bad* for Israel, but more like self-doubt, like – Oh, shit is this who we are? Are we barbarians? Am I in denial when I say the world is being unfair in its condemnation of us for what transpired? Are we really evil?
Another report I read on HuffPo had a pundit calling the incident “Israel’s Kent State” and a “massacre” and referred to those on the boat as “activists.” Head was starting to spin. Were they activists delivering aid, or terrorists attacking soldiers with metal rods? What was the truth ??
The HuffPo post was updated with video from the IDF (Israeli Defense Forces) that showed the people attacking the soldiers when they first boarded the boat. This did a lot to reassure me – both that we had not perpetrated a massacre, and that more balanced coverage was making it’s way to American media, if not Europe.
Here is close-up of the same footage I found on the IDF’s YouTube channel:
I felt even more reassured when I read my friend David Hazony’s report. David is a writer and author on religion, Judaism, Israel, and the Middle East. From his piece I learned that the flotilla had written a press release in advance about the attack and were able to send it to news media around the world as soon as the incident occured. Premeditate much? David’s piece talked about the need to win the media war via press releases and Twitter, and I popped a PR boner. This is what I do, man !!! Maybe this is the reason I am here in Israel – I’m supposed to offer my PR and communications expertise (all in mother-tongue English) to the Israeli government and IDF and help us win the media war the next time.
I fired off a tweet to Sandra Bernhard, with a link to David’s piece. Then, I went to the gym to get rid of some of this anxiety and fat. But first, here are two exchanges with friends on Facebook. But are friends I love. One is Jewish, and she thanks me for “getting the truth out.” The other is not Jewish, but he lived in Israel before and loves Israel. But after the news coverage he saw, he had decided Israel and the IDF were in the wrong here, and he was condemning the IDF raid. Can you see why this was very confusing and heartbreaking for me?
I got my gym on. As I opened my locker to shower after, I saw that Sandra Bernhard had replied to me on Twitter! I was really happy about this. Because our conversation did not devolve into argument, but remained kind; other people could be following it over Twitter and having their thoughts on the incident broadened, and Sandra and I found some common ground in the end. Plus, I was able to get my starfuck on with a performer I have always enjoyed and admired.
Cool, right? Look, I didn’t know when I’d ever be talking to Sandra again, so I could not resist telling her about how I first became a fan. It’s like when I met Debra Winger while working on the red carpet of the Gotham Independent Film Awards and got to tell her the scene in ‘Terms of Endearment’ where she says goodbye to her kids is my favorite moment of cinema ever. I still didn’t get what Sandra meant about my response being disproportinate. But whatevs. This was still a cool thing on a lot of levels for me. Headed to a cafe to work for a few hours. Logged on and saw Sandra had responded!
Then, when I get home, I found out she had asked me what I do for a living here in Israel. Wow, I thought that was really nice.
I could have asked her what she meant by that. Israel is a democracy and all 7.1 million citizens have full rights and participate in government and society (not just the 5.6 million Jews), but it was almost 4am, and time for a few hours of sleep.
It’s a couple of days later now, and I was happy to see more examples of US media coverage that I thought was fair. Like, when Vice President Joe Biden appeared on Charlie Rose and defended Israel’s actions. And then, this wonderful opinion piece by Charles Krauthammer.
Almost finished, those of you who are still with me. Saw this last night. Superbly powerful parody/commentary of the Flotilla called “We Con the World” (like the 1985 USA for Africa single, “We Are the World”). I think it’s brilliant and the creative force behind it, Caroline Glick, is my new hero. Watch:
Alright, it’s Shabbat, my dog is dying to get outside, and I’ve been writing this post for more than four hours. Time to get cleaned up and head to Hilton Beach. I just knew I had to do a long post about my reaction to this international incident, though. Because I am an Israeli, but not a native one. I’m an American, too, and most of my friends live in America. America is more supportive of Israel than any other country, and American news media coverage of Israel is more balanced than most coverage in the world, which has a very anti-Israeli slant – maybe because the world views Israel as an illegitimate country who shouldn’t really be here at all. From my unique perspective as an Oleh Chadash (new immigrant) living in Israel for less than a year and a half, I am in between worlds, in a way. I live here. But I read American news via the New York Times, and links to US news sources sent around on Twitter and Facebook. I have friends in both countries. I dunno, it occurred to me that my reaction to this event was probably not the same as the average Israeli, and I wanted to document it (for me) and share it – in case there are other Olim who can relate to parts of it.
xo
P.S. Here’s a good summary piece from NYT.
P.P.S. Footnote: that I have a friend in New York named Kevin, who works as a professional drag queen. His drag name?
Flotilla DeBarge !!
Filed under: Feelings, Friends, Work | Tags: PR, public relations, social media consulting
Remember when things were ‘bubbling under?’ Well, once I started doing my two jobs, things got a little unmanageable at first. I would kinda sleep too late to get all my social media client work done in the mornings and find time to work on my memoir and look for new work. I’d get one or two errands done and maybe some powerwalking, but then it was time to take Petey to the dog park, and before I knew it, it was time to start my 2nd job, which I would do until 9pm.
Then, I’d bang out the client social media work, scram to the gym for the last hour before it closed, unwind w/ the web and maybe an episode of glee, and get to bed too late (2am) to get up early enough to prevent the cycle from continuing the next day.
I’m happy to report, after a few weeks of having both jobs, equilibrium did present itself, and I settled into a groove. I was able to get the client social media work done in the a.m., which ended my work day about 90 minutes earlier. Still had difficulty finding time to accomplish everything else I wanted to in the morning, but – progress, not perfection.
Anyway, then – in a flash! – the fast changes were upon me. Late Thursday night, I was putzing around online, getting ready to go out to BEEF, when I saw some news from a client’s competitor come up in my Facebook news feed. They were thanking a New York Times writer for mentioning them in his new blog post. WTF? I clicked the link and saw the coverage. Crap, this wasn’t good.
That’s when I sprang into action. I:
- emailed the client’s three owners (only one of whom I have direct contact w/, but the other two’s addresses I’ve seen in emails I was copied on)
- gave them the link and asked them if they’d seen this yet
- reminded them I have a professional background in PR
- stated that the competitor clearly got into this blog post b/c they have a PR program
- initiated a swift and brilliant crisis-management plan, where I ghost-wrote a comment and had someone else post it, getting my client’s name into the first comment below the article, only sentences away from our competitor’s coverage, and virtually making us part of the article, too, now (the next day, another commenter referenced us, so I had my client wrote an official response; now, we’re practically the dominant theme in the comments in a way that is not overkill
Wow, the rush was exhilarating! After thanking my HP, I remembered to ask Him to help me let go of those feelings, too – b/c if I fed them too long, they could become disruptive and harmful to me.
Anyway, the client responded that same night with an offer for me to begin doing PR for them, too. (We have a meeting tomorrow to talk about this.) Now, I’m sure this is what I was after – otherwise, why would the first thing I have done been to remind them of my PR background and drive home the fact that our competitor’s success came b/c they had PR and we didn’t?
But, waitaminute – did I actually want to get back into PR? Despite being a very talented PR professional, I feel that my career in New York sort of ran its course, b/c I was unwilling to do what was necessary to break myself through to the next level where I ran my own company (or ascended to VP level at a bigger firm). And I’ve been so excited about being led down this new path into social media consulting. Would a return to PR be a step backwards for me?
I’m glad for my instincts. My actions that night were very smart. My friend Felicia helped me see my go-to thinking (that a return to PR would be a step backwards) as unnecessary and untrue. She pointed out that:
- It could provide a comfortable place to do what I know best, and buy me the time to study up and become better at social media strategy, until I have the knowledge to match the social media implementation I am already doing
- This would be In-House PR, which I’d never done before. Unlike at a firm, where having different clients meant the media you had to target was vast and diverse, here my media universe would be much more niche….almost a way to take my existing PR skill set and go 2.0 with it, to push myself to that level I was uninterested in achieving back in New York
Felicia helped me realize that this moment I was at didn’t have to be bad or scary just because it was heralding the unknown. If I just rubbed my eyes, I could see all the hope that was present. Thx, F !!
Later that day I spoke w/ my friend Debra, another social media professional. She was very supportive of my taking the PR meeting with my client, and stressed the value of keeping one’s professional skills flexible and always growing. Thx, Deb!
After that, I had a super (and super-long!) call w/ my dear, longtime friend (and former supervisor) Meggles. She revealed her own plans to reinvent her PR/marketing company with a much stronger social media component and asked me if I’d want to do social media implementation for her clients. Meg and I have worked together before, and I can’t say enough good things about how she inspires and brings out the best in me. Meg, you really are such a kind cheerleader, I feel quite a bit of love for you. Besides our practical discussion, we also went off on social media’s explosion in general, and it produced an extraordinarily stimulating discussion.
Later that day, I spoke with my friend and former boss Pat. A kind and talented PR genius, Pat helped me crystallize the ideas I want to present to my client tomorrow. Thanks, Pat!
So – I must remember to keep focused on taking the next, right action, and constantly turning it over to my HP – but in such a short order, from my likely-to-expand hours with my existing client, to the new work I hope to get from Meg, I can see the light where I’m ready to decrease my hours working for my full-time nonprofit client and maybe even close that chapter definitively.
This is an incredibly exciting prospect for me, and I’m just so grateful to be visualizing that idea – albeit with the proper balance.
I’m so grateful to God and everyone I mentioned in this post. I can some it up in this Tweet/Facebook status update from yesterday: Huge bath of love from the universe right now – from peeps recent and all the way back. My history pushing me forward. Love.
I realized this week I am a little bit depressed. Nothing clinical – I can still get out of bed, and all. I wonder what brought it on though – was it that Cellcom rep who called me this week and offered me a better plan? It really was a better plan, so I took it – but she did tell me it was for 18-months and I’d be penalized for opting out early. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m happy with Cellcom, so I had no problem with that restriction.
….or did I?
This could have something to do with turning 40 recently, also.
Look, here’s the thing: I feel my career ran its course back in New York. I don’t want to return to the field of public relations. If I did plop back down in NYC – what would I do ??? While I want to choke my fucking boss who I can’t stand am ready to move on from my primary job, I am quite excited about the direction of these new developments – doing social media consulting for ROASTe and hopefully soon also for Seital. And, when I get enough of this new work to free myself from the hell that is my main job, I’ll have more time to work on my memoir about moving to Israel. Plus, the weather is great here, I like living among so many Jews, and I feel a strong, Zionist connection to Israel.
But for sure, the novelty of being here has worn off. Things that were at first so exciting and fun – Riding my bike around town like a 12-year-old, which I haven’t done since 1984, Whee! – are now completely whatevs. All the other things, too – now that they’re not new, but they just are, I’ve realized that emotionally, I feel right where I was back in the fall of 2008 before I left New York: wanting a husband and to start a family…wanting to be in a higher income bracket that would finally allow me to travel, live in a nicer home, dine out and actually, you know, buy things when I’m out and about (I think they call it shopping?)….just a general feeling of not being satisfied anymore with my simple life of work, gym, AA, net surfage, a diet of mostly frozen food (with assorted junk binges), etc.
I did move to Israel very quickly and with a certain degree of spontaneity, but it never felt blind. I thought about it a great deal, and it felt very organic. I had ‘done’ New York after 17 years, and with my job in jeopardy, I felt a window closing for me there….and one opening for me here with new opportunities and choices.
In AA, there is an expression of ‘taking a geographical cure’ as a method to control your drinking. You know, if I just move someplace else, things will be different and my drinking won’t be a problem anymore. The problem isn’t with me….it’s with New York. We call the shorthand for this: doing a geographic. I certainly never felt as though this is what I was doing with my move to Israel. But hell – now that I’m at where I am emotionally, it makes me think:
Was this move all about doing one big geographic?
There is no escape from yourself, though. Wherever you go….there you are.
I miss my family, but that is not the kicker. I speak to them (in Philadelphia) about as much as I did when I was living in New York. Don’t take this personally, Mom, but What I really miss is being around my deep bench of sober, gay AA friends in New York. I see and interact with them all on Facebook and many of them on Twitter, and thank God for it. It is no small thing at all; you know who you are: we comment on each other’s photos and statuses daily and 8,000 miles and a whole bunch of bits & bytes away, you are still my support system, and I love you. And I have a real & true & loving support system here, too, I do: Anna, Leah, Jeremy, Danny, Nir, Liron, Abi, Lawrence, Ronnie, Junie. I’m grateful you are all in my life. There were just more of you in NYC, that’s all.
כל יום ביומו.
“One day at a time.” That’s what the above phrase says. I have it tattooed on my arm. So, there really is no need to figure out “where I am going to be for the rest of my life.” But if I think of how freakishly cold Israeli apartments are in the winter, and their small sinks and mineral-heavy water….or everyone and their mother parking on the sidewalks, or having to seriously improve my Hebrew because this Hebrish crap just ain’t cutting it, or buildings here that just look so Third World that they appear as though they might crumble any second (and many more things native to Israel), I can easily answer myself with – Uh-uh. No way. This isn’t forever. I miss First World development & feel…places that are big & clean & spread out, that just look as though they belong in the 21st century and not from 1930 or 1860. I may not enjoy many things about my New York City neighbors who aren’t just like me, but maybe that’s something I need to work on, you know?
As for my new career as a social media consultant, there is something to be said for the fact that Israel is a very small pond (7.1 million people, less than all of New York City), and it’s a very good & safe environment for succeeding and rising to the top of your field if you are good at what you do and work hard (which I am, and I do). Not that I couldn’t make it in New York, too (isn’t that how the song goes?), but as a person who’s always been a Late Bloomer, maybe I could really benefit from doing this work from over here. Plus, the economic recovery in the U.S. continues to be fitful, and I know plenty of people out of work; do I really want to return NOW and jump back into that (economically) depressed environment? That’s another argument for remaining here, at least for the next few years.
My friend Junie said of course I’m depressed; it’s because I’m working too hard. After she said this, she went for coffee with some more of my friends, while the other people we were hanging with went to a street fair on Rothschild Street. I went home to go to work for a few hours, even though Friday is the weekend here and no one works in the afternoon. I proved her point immediately! It’s true. I may go out to a bar or club once a week, and I typically meet my friends Anna and Leah for coffee once a week, but other than that – it’s ROASTe work, memoir writing, job search efforts, errands and cleaning in the mornings, then my main job from 2-9pm, then the gym, then unwinding for a few hours online with Facebook, Mashable, Perez, Atraf, TV Shack and NYTimes.com, then sleep. Even my main break from work is getting boring – taking Pete to the dog park. Good for him, and I am making some regular friends from going there, but it ain’t enough.
No tidy summation from me at the end of this post. Just feel like I’m done musing for now. We’ll see how I feel when I read it over after hitting ‘publish.’
Maybe I’ll move to San Francisco…
UPDATE:
I swear to God, what song do you think came on my iPod immediately after hitting “publish”? Leaving New York from REM’s album Around the Sun. What does that even mean, God?
My birthday is so last week, I know – but one more thing about it. The gym locker I like to use happens to be # 39. Forty, of course, is right next to it, but the metal part where you put your lock is broken off. So, I’m going to continue to use # 39, if that’s alright with you.
Also, on the night of my birthday, literally when it turned 12:00, I was out on the street, having just exited the gym. I know I’ll be 40 all year, but there’s only one moment ever when you turn forty (now, technically I wasn’t 40 yet; as several friends pointed out, since I was born on the east coast of the USA in EST, this was a unique window where it was my birthday in Tel Aviv…yet I was actually still 39). But anyway! So, since there is only this one moment to mark when you’re actually turning 40, I decided to really mark it.
The street wasn’t packed around me (it was midnight), but there were some people. I’m brave – but not that brave – so I waited until the light changed green and traffic started rushing by to yell
I’m 40 !!!
…really loud (yet, not at the top of my lungs, and kinda not very enunciated).
Still. A cool moment. My friend Marko tweeted right back after I tweeted about it this to wish me Happy Bday…and call me a Mess. Love him!
I usually don’t throw parties for myself, but you only turn 40 once each lifetime. So, this year I knew I must.
I went with my friend Phil last month to see this place my friends the Becker-Barkins recommended called Betty Ford. By mistake, we went into the wrong place, but we liked it immediately. Called Nachalat 52 (creative!, it’s the address), it had a Western-sort of vibe, with a lot of wood, which you typically don’t see in Israel. The shister manager Ronen promised me the upstairs room to myself for the party. They had a pool table up there and Guitar Hero hooked up to a big flat screen. I told them I needed to take a look at some other places, and I did check out Betty Ford, but I got a slimy vibe from the BF manager, who wanted my guests to each pay a minimum charge, so I went with Nachalat 52.
T.I.I., baby. It’s an expression my friend Liron’s friend made up; stands for “This is Israel.” It’s sort of a catch-phrase for whatever ridonkulous shiz goes on here or peeps try and pull. Ronen, the Nachalat 52 manager wound up imposing the same minimum charge per guest bullshiz that the other guy wanted. Basically, we had to spend 3000 ($790) shekels total or else I’d be responsible for paying the difference. You know what? I was inviting a lot of people, and I told everyone to bring their friends, so I wasn’t worried.
I mainly invited people through Facebook:
And I was so excited when the actual party came around. Although, there was a speed bump and I was pretty peeved when Ronen called me last week to confirm. At the end of the call, he tries to casually throw in – Oh, yeah, and there’s just this one little thing. You won’t be able to use this one couch and table in the corner of the room. You see, I, er, ah, booked another party of 15 for it.
WTF ??
T.I.I., baby. I had a choice – I could have flipped out and ripped him a new one over the phone. But I didn’t feel like doing that. And it was too late for me to find a new venue anyway. So, I just said – Look, I know what you did. When I booked the party, the place was only open two days and you jumped at my business. Since them, you’ve become a big hit, and you just want to make more money. Well, I just wanna say ‘I’m very disappointed about this.’ The vulture He promised me free drinks.
Anyway, last night was the big event. And it was super. It wasn’t just those 15 other people, though. When I got there around 8:40 p.m., the upstairs was kinda close to filled up already with random peeps. I put my shit down on two big tables (I had “just happened” to bring along a duffel bag and two big shopping bags “in case” people “happened” to bring me gifts. Look – normally, I made a point to say – NO GIFTS! Your being there is all I need or want. But this year, I’m 40, bitch, so you better be packin’ present when you walk in that place, ‘mkay? No, really – I didn’t expect everyone to give me something, but I knew my closer friends would, and that’s just how I wanted it.)
So, if I could plan it again, I would have picked a quieter place. At it’s peak, it was loud and crowded – and smoky. There is a anti-smoking indoors law in Tel Aviv just like in New York, but not every place enforces it, and this place didn’t. But, you know what – it served its purpose. I was so happy greeting each of my guests. And it gave me great pleasure to watch my different groups of friends interact with each other. There were my ulpan friends, my Tikva friends, my gay friends, friends from work, friends I made from the dog park, people I’ve schtupped and more – like some people I met on Atraf, the Israeli gay dating site and a new friend I met at a Nefesh b’Nefesh Olim welcome ceremony last month. My friend Danny had his professional cake baker friend make my cake. It was 100% from scratch – including homemade chocolate on top and homemade raspberry puree inside. [Said in the over-the-top style of Oprah introducing a guest on her show:]
Delicious !!!
I also ordered a bunch of bar food for everyone to nosh. I chose chicken fingers, calamari, little fajita-type things, and Israeli platters of humus/olives/tahina/pita. But it took a long time for the stuff to get served (delaying the cake/Happy Birthday song), and it was a lot more salad-y type stuff than I realized. Not really finger food. I’m sure we wasted a lot.
But whatevs. It was great, and I shined very brightly. I knew I was going to hear from people – 40 !?! You do NOT look 40, Scott! But I wanted to maximize that effect, and for the pictures from the night, so I shaved instead of sporting my usual stubble. With my longer hair, baby butt smooth face, and Paul Smith textured/patterned shirt that I got at a sample sale I earned every compliment I attracted. Peeps started to leave around10:30 p.m., but diehards stayed until almost midnight. Here’s some pics from the night.
Me with Danny (left) and Phil.
The Becker-Barkins, Moosh and Rotem
Shabi, Nir, Me
Ilana and Chris
with Leah & Itay
It's actually my 5th decade (but who's counting?)
With my Honey, Liron
Jeannie, Phil, Alon
Abi & Me (Stan in back); That rose I'm holding from the cake is 100% homemade chocolate. It was soooooo good, you guys !!!
A rose by any other name...
Stephanye & Regev rOcK oUt !
David, Keren, Caitlin
Jeremy & Eric
Dancing on the Table (move, Eric! You're blocking my ass!)
Booty Haul
I will really have to focus my thoughts, or this post could go on for days.
@ the gym few nights ago I had another spiritual awakening. I tend to go late, b/c I prefer it when the floor isn’t so crowded, and there isn’t a wait for the machines. But on the other hand, I love checking out the eye candy, which there’s not as much of before closing.
There was a guy there. Not really the kind of man I envision for myself. Who do I envision for myself? Um, I dunno…., something like
THIS:
(Well, this is actor Eric Bana, who's straight, married and not Jewish. But I would love to be with someone like this....gorgeous, babyfaced, cute, built, menschy, kind.)
Anyway, so this guy who was there wasn’t Eric Bana. He was maybe 10 years older than me, shaved head. But there was something cute about him. And although he didn’t set off my gaydar, I did see him once in EVITA (our local SPLASH), so I knew he was gay. 5-10 minutes before closing, we were the only two in the locker room. Chill, mofos – I’m not going there. But I mention this, because although we were the only two there, and although we both knew the other was gay, and despite his non Eric Bana-ness and the fact that he looked a smidge like my longtime friend Neil Balick, there was something kind of cute about him, and clearly there is always something cute about ME. But we didn’t chat. Just the usual I-caught-him-looking-at-me-but-then-he-looks-away,-then-I-look-at-him-and-he-catches-me-and-I-look-away,-REPEAT.
When I left the gym, I didn’t go out to a club or to meet some friends. I have two jobs now (more on this in one of the next posts), and a million side projects I’m pursuing, and I’d rather get up early and be productive than stay out late amidst all the secondhand smoke, so I headed home on my bike. I leashed up the Piddley-Petester and went out for a walk around the block…with a stop at Super Baba for some junk food.
OK, now here’s an important part of this post. I didn’t load up at the store with $100 dollars worth of corn syrup & saturated fat laden goodies, then run home to scarf them all down in one setting, then puke them up, then go to another supermarket immediately to do the same exact thing. Thankfully, my food issues are not that serious. But. One way I know how something is up, is that – while this neighborhood block is kind of swinging at this time every night – with several bars packed and peeps out with friends whoopin’ it up – every night I buy a few items from Olga, the young woman who works nights at Super Baba, and has sort of become my friend. I’m always alone, with just my dog, and while my items may vary a little, they are always junk food. And I’m starting to get embarrassed, like waiting for her to confront me with – All the time, it’s just you and your dog…you are alone and always buying junk food before bedtime…but you’re so young and cute, WHY are you always alone, Scott, and what are you covering up ???
Sometimes, the language barrier here is really a good thing. I’ve also had the thought that: Hmm, maybe I’ll buy from a different store tonight, so Olga doesn’t have to see me doing this night after night and I can be more anonymous to a different clerk. Woah, classic alcoholic behavior !!!
Now, look – I’m an addict/alcoholic in recovery. And when I was active in my addiction, my favorite thing was to smoke pot. I wasn’t shooting heroin, or smoking meth, or losing jobs, or estranged from my family, or in&out of rehabs, or on probation, but I was like…
Seriously. Pot addiction is real. It’s such a curse, because you can function really well for a long time, and you’re getting something at least partially satisfying from the drug….enough to keep you going, but at the same time…it’s keeping you from what you really want. But you are alone and anxious and insecure, and – trust me – it’s not a good way to live.
And I see now that I’ve been repeating this old behavior with my nightly junk food trips! Now, I’m not obese. I’m not even fat. For someone about to turn 40, my body is in better shape than probably 85% of the men my age. Except for this junk food ritual, I eat very well (no fried foods, lots of protein and veggies), I work out at the gym every other day. My shoulders and arms and chest and legs and ass all look great. In a (not fitted) tank top and shorts, I’m a total Dish! But with all the work I do at the gym, I should have a nice, sexy 6-pack – Not my little belly.
Hey, my little belly’s even cute; it is tiny; it does not come close to rolling over my belt. And if Eric Bana Hotness came to me with the same little belly, I would have no problems with it and still be super turned on.
But when I’m sitting down, or laying on my side, then – ew, yeah, I don’t like it, and I want to make it go away. Plus, look at this: is this the beginnings of a double chin?
But anyway, my point is: I am healthy and not in any danger b/c of this junk food cycle. It is manageable. For real; I am not just saying that. And it’s giving me some happiness, it really is. I love Reese’s Fast Break candy bars. The peanut butter, no – the nougat!
Mmmm...., nougut.
And if I refuse to allow myself a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s creme brulee, I’m really limiting my junk intake to a candy bar or two, a danish or two, and a few cookies. I work out plenty, this assortment is not harming me, and it does make me kinda happy.
So, what’s the problem?
The problem is: while it does make me kinda happy, it’s not giving me what I really want, which is to be in a stable, caring, sexual relationship with a real partner. And the amount and type of fleeting happiness it does give me actually provides a distraction from what I am really longing for. In fact, it keeps me from seeing and facing my part in the way things are going.
It’s not that I am just not meeting the right guy yet. ‘Cause this is what I have told myself. This one is nice and kind, but not cute enough. This one is cute enough, but too young. The chemistry is great with this one, but he is too “creative” like me, and not enough of the “rock” that I want; I’m the creative one. It’s very much like how Jerry and George used to go through women on Seinfeld. This one’s got man-hands, that one’s a low-talker, this one’s bald, that one talks weird during sex, etc. I have had a few relationships. But they’ve been with men that were wrong for me. And, I have been really attracted to some men sometimes, but they’ve not been interested in me, or they were unavailable for some reason.
WHY hasn’t the right guy shown up yet?
This is the spiritual awakening part. He hasn’t shown up yet, because I am preventing him from showing up. Homo say what? Yes, that’s right. Because sub-consciously, I don’t want him to show up. I want him NOT to show up. I know what you’re thinking, and no – I don’t know why. That’s why it’s my subconscious, you dummy! (sorry) I say it’s what I want, except I don’t really want it. Because, I am such a wonderful catch, that there is no good reason for me not to already be with somebody. Something is wrong. I am preventing it from happening, and that is why I am still single, and I can see that clearly now.
What are you going to do about it?
Pray. I’ve started asking God: God, please give me the willingness to allow a true partner to come into my life. Or, because I’m not entirely sure that I even really want to become willing to have him show up: God, please give me the willingness to become willing to allow a true partner to come into my life.
It felt so good to be this honest with myself… to see clearly and accept my role for what’s (not) been happening in my life.. and to take this action. I had prayed before for God to send me a boyfriend, but this was a totally new thought for me: to ask for help becoming willing to receive my partner. That’s the real Awakening part -to think this new thought for the first time. Yay, me. And thank you, God.
Postscript: I told a recovery friend of mine about this spiritual awakening, and she said it sounded to her as if some recent formal spiritual work I’ve started is already paying off. I hadn’t considered this until I heard her say it. Wow, the program really can do some amazing, 4th Dimension shit.
Filed under: Feelings
So, between the emotional high of the NbN Olim Welcome Ceremony, the obsessive high of playing with my new toy, and the fabulous third interview I had, yesterday was one of those rare, truly high-point days, brought on by this special trifecta. Maybe not the best day Ever, but definitely something special was going on, because I could feel it.
I still can’t talk about the details yet, but – you know that corporate blogging position I teased in a post this week? Well, I had been second guessing myself about my performance on the second interview. Maybe I was too enthusiastic; too much “Scotty P” when I should have been more “F. Scott Piro.”
Anna had fabulous insights about his. She basically just said, No, you were just you, and that’s what’s going to get you the job, not being ‘anyone else.’ (♥ her!!!) Same day as the second interview, me and the co-owner Tweeted each other and he told me, Stay tuned…I may want you to speak to our co-owner in America. My brain was like – ‘May’?…why ‘May’ (vs. definitely)…what does that mean: he’s not sure? Again, Anna has Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions-level insights when she fires out without a beat, I’ll tell you what ‘May’ means: it means he has to talk to his colleague in America before he can say yes, and the colleague will do either one of two things: he’ll either say, ‘Yeah, I wanna talk to this guy. Set it up,” or he’ll say, ‘You know what, I don’t really need to talk to him…if you like him, then that’s all I need to know.” Dude, that makes so much sense! Anna is a frigging genius, and she really calmed me down about things.
But the guy said he would get back to me either that same afternoon of the second interview (which was Monday), or the next day. Yesterday, I was like, Shit. Today is two days later; he said he’d be back to me by now. Uh-oh…maybe I was too enthusiastic and easy with him, as if I’d already gotten the job. Plus, the woman he interviewed after me (who I saw), did look smart. Maybe the more he thought about it, the more he was leaning against me.
Although…in the positive superstition department, I did have my most Terrible Hair Day of 2009 for this interview. I’m growing it out again, and my standard ‘long-hair hair product’ isn’t working as well as it usually does; my old bottle may have gone bad, or something. Anyway, my hair was doing these serious windblown-like Botticelli curls on meth or something. This is actually good, b/c I also had terrible hair for the job interview that landed me my last job, and I got that. Also, I’ve remembered I have all these great learning-Hebrew podcasts on my iPod, and I’ve been listening to them lately as I ride around town on my bicycle because I haven’t hardly picked up a book and done any other studying Hebrew since finishing Ulpan three months ago, and I’m forgetting Hebrew faster than Tiger Woods is losing sponsors. Anyway, I finished one of them mid-bike ride over to the second interview, and when I started the next one, it “just happened” to be titled “The Coffee Shop.” (I’ve been coy, but from that clue, plus the image at the top of the post, you can glean that this is relevant.) Definite good omen!
Hard to tell, but I am absolutely drenched in this pic.
So, I got back from my emotional high of a morning at this NbN Aliyah Welcome Ceremony thing – drenched, because it has started pouring, and I had to ride my bike home in it. I decide to email the guy and say, Hi, any news? Well, turns out he had emailed me two days ago !!! I’ve been using an email address to communicate with him that I don’t usually use; it’s one I dedicate just to writing projects, and I first learned about this opp through the CIWI yahoo group. I should have caught it on my BlackBerry when it came it, but somehow I didn’t. So, Yay! – I returned the email immediately and also replied to him on Twitter.
Later that afternoon his partner in America called. It was quite funny, actually, b/c we kept having crappy reception over Skype and calling each other back, and then my dog Petey had to go out because he had been inside a long time, and the American partner said he would call my cell phone, but I had put the SIM card in backwards on my new BlackBerry, so he couldn’t…but then I figured it out and he did call…as I was being pulled downstairs by my dog, AND my neighbor just happened to pass by going up the stairs, which caused Petey to lunge and jump up on her…all the while, I’m trying to sound professional and serious. It was really some screwball comedy shiz.
Long story short, I wound up having a great conversation with the guy, and there was a good connection there. He asked for some writing samples, which I sent over last night. If I get this, it will be part-time at first (20 hrs/week), and I’ll have to maintain my current job’s 39 hrs/week, also. (But since I’m so broke, this is actually a good thing.) But – if I like working with them, and they like me and the job I do, AND if this startup continues to grow and the funds are there, they stated that there is definitely the potential that it could turn into a full time position.
Which it totally is going to, BTW. I can feel this, and I know it.
Yayee, McYay !!!
Going places.
Gefilte Fish Out of Water 
