I kinda love ’em, kinda hate ’em – I’m speaking of a certain type of Israeli friend – The Pusher. I like these women – two dog friends from the neighborhood, Tali and Fanny – but sometimes when I see them coming, I’m like Ugh!
Why? Because they always speak to me in Hebrew. They know I’m an Anglo and struggling with my Hebrew, and that’s precisely why they do it. It’s totes done out of a desire to help me succeed.
But I just kinda hate it. Look, my attitude is – I’m doing fine w/ my Hebrew. I’m only here one year. I worked hard in language school my first six months to get a base in Hebrew, and even though I’ve forgotten quite a bit of it, it is just under the surface and will quickly come back (I think) when I continue w/ Hebrew night school later this spring. I’m surprising myself by being able to speak whole sentences to people sometimes. I’m at a level where I prefer that you let me speak “Hebrish” to you, and you answer me in English.
But when Tali and Fanny speak to me full-on in Hebrew, the perfectionist in me just hates that I have to struggle like an idiot speaking with them for a few sentences in Hebrew before totes lapsing into English. It’s really that “giving up” part that I hate; I hate failing. So, I feel like – Ugh! Why are you bothering!? We both know I can’t really do this – converse fluently in Hebrew – , so you’re just making me feel bad about myself. So, stop !!
Today I started a new practice at the dog park. While Pete plays, I’m taking vocabulary from last year’s Hebrew notes and writing them into a blank address book. I’m filing them under the English word, and then writing the Hebrew word below it.
Honestly, for only beginning to learn this very different language, I think I’m doing just fine after one year. ליאת, ליאת.
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