Gefilte Fish Out of Water


Ew.
December 29, 2009, 10:22 pm
Filed under: Infrastructure | Tags: , ,

That’s not a close up of Adam Lambert’s skin you’re lookin at, it’s a shot from my bedroom ceiling.  About a month ago, seemingly overnight, I looked up and saw the enchanted forest growing there.

Mold.  (Ew.)

My friend Jeremy took one look and acted like an extra from The Amityville Horror.  Get outta the house! he practically screamed.  We stopped by ACE Hardware as we took our dogs out for a walk to Tel Aviv’s Old Port.  I bought a big roll of plastic tarp to lay across my bed, because I was planning to use my magav (giant Israeli squeegee) to wipe off the mold with bleach, which kills it.

Totes butch of me (though, I’m pretty sure real butch guys don’t use the word totes).  It was easy and it worked.  No more mold on ceiling.

Doesn’t mean the problem is gone.  There’s still probably enough green on the other side of the ceiling to slow climate change, but at least it’s not visible.  I was a little afraid that sleeping under it for three weeks was gonna – God forbid – give me cancer or something.  You know, doesn’t mold have, like, spores that can get into your lungs and shiz?  I saw an episode of CSI once where toxic mold killed killed a guy!

Relax, said my bestie Anna.  I’m from the Mold Capital of the World (Tampa, I think), and you are fine.  We lived with that shiz for years and would just wipe it off after a big rainstorm.  Eric lived with mold in his TLV apartment for two years, and he’s fine. Phew!  Thanks, Anna (and take that, Yoda)!

But there’s actually another apartment-related hurdle now, and I really might have to get the fuck out by April – unless I don’t mind having my kitchen removed and having to share Ilana’s.  (No, thanks.)  So, it looks like it’s Yad2 (the Israeli Craigslist; in Hebrew, greaaaaat), Homeless (more Hebrew, greaaaaat), Win-Win (say with me, Peeps: more Hebrew – greaaaaaaaaaaat), and Madas (rounding out my fuckedness: in Hebrew!) for me.  No prob, I’ll just use The Secret and envision myself getting another cheap, renovated, great place in my favorite neighborhood.  For real, I will do this.  I haven’t started looking yet, but I have started mentioning it in conversations with people at the dog park.

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[…] boss landlord advised me to start looking at places.  But I soooo did not want to.  Minus the mold problem, I’ve got it made here.  My place is recently renovated, in the best TLV neighborhood, right […]

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